Saturday, July 5, 2014
The Differences Between Gay and Straight People
I've been fighting for gay rights for about 5 years now, and believed in equality for about 8 or so. In that time, I've learned quite a bit about gay culture, and gay people in general. As such, I felt the need to compile a complete list of differences between gay and straight people.
End of list.
There was a video a short while back where a young man decided to explain why living with gay room mates was so cool. In fact, I'll dig it up here.
Here we have a young man who felt the need to set the record straight on how it's wonderful to live with gay people. It starts out by him explaining that he used to be apprehensive about gay people, but since immersing himself in gay culture, he found them to be beautiful. For example, one of them decorates, and they don't get jealous when he's talking to one of their girlfriends. They have a good thing going.
The thing is, everything he explains are human qualities that really have nothing to do with being gay. Some people are decorators and make good nesters. Male or female, gay or straight, it's an attribute that some people have. Jealousy or being territorial is a human trait as well that some people possess. They must respect him if they aren't stopping him from talking to their lady friends, because gay people are still protective of their friends. He doesn't care that they are gay. As well he shouldn't. The fact of the matter is that he has good room mates, and good for him.
Although he generalized a gay stereotype, and went with it, he's not far off. Gay culture is a wee bit different from straight culture, but that's to be expected. Hunters and golfers have different cultures too, but nobody really cares. The culture shock is exciting, and he can see the beauty and wonder in it. Although he doesn't seem to have seen it yet, the interesting thing about gay culture is that it's made up of gay people, and people are people. Just regular people. The culture itself has it's own uniqueness, but the people. The people are the same.
Everyone just tends to get hung up on the perceived differences of gay people. Men that are fancy decorators that dress well with a feminine vibe must be gay. Straight men of this persona are called metrosexual. The media hypes this persona because a flamboyant gay guy gets ratings. It's funny to watch, and is basically a modern day freak show. But the media is calming down now, and presenting gay men as much more normal which is nice. The interesting thing is that gay men are normal. You pass them every day on the street, and you can't tell. They are doctors, lawyers, mechanics, vendors, masculine, feminine, tall short, happy, sad, and every other normality.
Sometimes gay people dress up, and act a little more feminine than normal when going out. Sometimes straight men dress up nice, and act a little more masculine when going out. Sometimes gay men dress up nice, and act a little more masculine when going out. To be honest, very few straight men dress up and act feminine as that's not culturally accepted, and considered to be weak. But the point is that we purport the persona that we want people to see and associate with us. Gay people are no different.
BUT BUT BUT, Gay men like dudes, and straight men like women! That's a difference. Right? Nope. So if gay men are normal in every respect, than we must focus strictly on sexuality to prove they are different, right? Because we have to make them different. But why do we have to make them different? So we can categorize them in our minds as something other than us? Sexuality doesn't make them different either. Why not? Two straight men still have a different sexuality. We all have a different sexuality, and prefer different things, different types, different acts, different temperatures, different everything regarding sex. So one man could like blondes, and prefer romance while another prefers brunettes and exciting fun.
Line 20 men up in a row, and they will all have different preferences. Two men that love football, guns, John Grisham novels, marshal arts, and chess might have so much to talk about while one is straight and the other is gay. So is that really a difference? Even gay men have different types. Some prefer blondes while others prefer brunettes. Some prefer romance while others prefer fun. Some prefer smooth and beautiful young men while others prefer the big hairy beast. Some prefer masculine while others prefer feminine. Gay men's sexual preferences are far and wide. It's just easier to label them as gay, and therefore different. A nice neat stereotype to put categorically on a shelf with precision. But that would be wrong.
Lesbians are the same. Some are masculine, and some are feminine. Same with straight women. In fact, just about everything I just said about gay men can be attributed to lesbians. The only difference between gay men and lesbians are the fact that gay men are men, and lesbians are women. Men are from mars, and women are from Venus. But there is really very little difference between lesbians and straight women just like gay men.
There are however some differences which are purely cultural. By cultural, I mean our whole culture in which we make them different by categorizing gay people as different. For example, lesbian women have more orgasms than straight women. Why? Lesbians have to fight for what they want and need, and therefore, they tend to get it. Straight women seem to settle quite a bit more which seems to have an adverse affect in the sheets. Just a quirk I've noticed.
Another cultural difference is that gay people are wonderful and accepting people. The social ones most certainly are because of societal pressure, they've turned into diamonds. We as a society created these types of gay people, and they truly are wonderful. It's interesting to hear people talk about them after hanging out with gay people all night if they've never had the pleasure. You see, when people are shunned, hurt, discarded, and spit on, there are those that do not want anyone to go through that horror. So they try and make it so nobody ever feels that way out of compassion and empathy. Make no mistake though, the gay population also has some very bitter people as well. They're kind of like truck drivers, or cops in that they are either really nice, or quite a grumpy asshole. And of course, they vary between the spectrum as well.
We created these differences by segregating gay people, so those are entirely cultural. You can see similarities in other people who have gone through the same types of things.
As for actual differences. There really are none, and the sooner gay people integrate back into mainstream society as fully accepted members with respect, the better. That time is not far off, and this new generation makes me smile. With the explosion of the paradigm shift of the internet, our young people are more accepting of different races, creeds, and sexualities. Racism, and homophobia are dying, and nothing can stop that, no matter how hard people keep trying. Bigots are a dying breed.
What about transgender, androsexual, cisgender, bigender, cross dressers, FTM/MTF, genderless, intersex, hermaphrodite, hypersex, asexual, pansexual, skoliosexual, third gender, or transsexual people? (If I left you out, I apologize.)
Well if gay people aren't different, than obviously these people are, right? Nope. The fact is, we're all different, and because of that, we're all the same. We all laugh, love, and cry. We all have hobbies whether they be reading, hiking, driving, swimming, or animals. We all have to obtain money for a living, and most of us work to fulfill that part of our lives. We all go to the grocery store for food, and we all shop everywhere else as well. We all struggle to have our own unique identity, and stay true to it. We all like different types of music, and not some others. And of course we all have different sexual identities and sexual preferences.
We're all Human, and hugs are better than hurts.