I recently came across this article which was just an offensive slander. In it, there is the most hateful, and prejudicial speech against women that I've ever read. On the flipside, feminists have their doozies too such as "I feel that man-hating is an honorable and viable political act that the oppressed have a right to class-hatred against the class that is oppressing them." Robin Morgan, Ms. Magazine Editor
That's just sad! Sad in so many ways. One of the greatest fallacies I see in either feminism or masculinism is the demonizing of the other gender. Don't let this blanket statement miminalize the demonization either because there is some real hurt and pain there. When a woman keeps children away from the opposite parent after a divorce/separation, it's devastating, and when a man rapes a woman, it's traumatizing. For the most part, we understand our gender, and when these painful life altering events take place; blaming the opposite gender can be easy. Yet, it is still as fallacious as saying all black people are thieves because a black man robbed you once. But, I suppose while we're at it, all white people are rich, and all asian people get good grades.
Why is it so easy to blame the opposite gender when you're hurt by someone of that gender? I believe it is because compartmentalizing and stereotyping are easy for the brain to handle because when we don't understand something, we tuck it away in a place we do understand. Therefore, when a man get railroaded in a divorce, and he doesn't understand why, he can place it under one of the attributes of women that he does not understand. When a woman gets sweet-talked by a man, promised the world, passionate love making, and then ignored, it hurts. "Why would he do that? I thought there was really something there." she says to herself after deciding that Men Suck.
What is most often forgotten during these hard times is that a person is responsible for their own actions. Not everyone lies, cheats, steals, or other bad things. Not all women use kids as weapons in a divorce, and not all men are rapists. So who is the better, and who is the lesser; Men or Women? Obviously, the answer is neither, but it's not easy to grasp because we are reminded day in and day out about traditional family values, modesty, gender roles, and what a good (insert gender) is supposed to be.
We reinforce this indoctrination ourselves, and I believe that is our greatest weakness in appreciating the opposite gender. We do this by speaking for the opposite gender such as. "Women are emotional, and men are logical." "All men want is to get into your pants." "All women are baby hungry." Can women think rationally and logically? Of course. A lot of men are looking for more than romp in the sheets, and not all women are baby hungry.
Men and women get taken advantage of at times, and it brings out activist groups that fight for equality or equal rights. The glass ceiling for women is still lower than men, and women are still the preferred custody takers of the children during divorce. So which gender is entitled higher pay, or the children? The answer still is neither, yet it is still difficult to grasp because of the gender roles we've grown up with. Even in the work place, you can see how men are encouraged to be aggressive, and women are taken care of in a general sense. Yet, sometimes aggressive behavior is wrong for the job, and I know a lot of women who push forward harder than most men. Many times, our prejudicial behavior towards any gender role puts us at a disadvantage because the person we are stereotyping is worth much more.
I believe that feminism at it's core is about empowering women to make their own decisions and control their own lives. How can this be wrong? Women need to be able to control their own lives, and men need the same. Every person should be calling their own shots, and living their lives the way they want to live them. When anyone inserts themselves, and tries to force someone else to do their bidding for whatever reason, it is wrong. Controlling someone else is not a gender-based crime. You know that person at work who enjoys telling you what to do? The person who is equal to you, but likes to give you orders. Once you start brushing them off, they come at you with fallacies like, "Yeah (Boss) said you need to get this done ASAP." That person is a controlling person.
How do we combat this? Ads, TV Shows, Movies, Entertainment, Stores, and Music are scientifically and sociologically targeted towards genders and stereotypes. Propaganda is everywhere, and in everything we see. 'This is what a woman is supposed to look like.' 'Men, Man the F#@% UP!' and so on and so forth. Unfortunately, this is a huge obstacle in life, and we are at a loss.
Therefore, I believe that everyone deserves respect. We have to demand it from others, and show it as well. This is the best and only way to start if we ever want to solve the issue, and there are tough issues. Take abortion, and women advocating that it's their body so it is their right. Most people focus on the women fighting for the right. What about men? What if the father wants to keep the baby? Or, what if the father wants to sign away an unwanted baby? Will there ever be a compromise, or will women hold all the power there? Are women entitled, or should the man have a say?
The reason I brought up that particular issue is because it's powerful, and everyone who just read up to the above paragraph were right with me, but then most likely started raging on whatever their opinion is. Equality is a long ways away, and both genders will need to compromise in a lot of areas if we are ever to have an equal society.
Interestingly enough, if you cut society out of it, and just focus on relationships, it is of my opinion that the happiest couples respect each other, and let each other make their own decisions. By this coexistence, the relationship is much stronger, and they rely on each other much more heavily. They make decisions together, and are constantly giving and taking in a state of compromise. Older couples like this that have been together for 30 years or so dance around each other in harmony. Sadly, in relationships where one person makes all the decisions, that person gets burned out much more quickly, and the submissive in the relationship loses self confidence and self esteem. Years down the road, if it lasts, it is not a happy relationship.
Yet, there are successful relationships, men that treat women with respect, woman that treat men with respect, families that are happy, parents that sacrifice, friends that give, and strangers that care. There is goodness, and we can be the change we wish to see in the world.
