Being bullied can be an extremely degrading experience. For a bully it may seem like they just enjoy that little moment of control over you. For the bullied, the bully will take away their self confidence, make them worry, make them feel ashamed, and steal general happiness.
As you have probably guessed, I was bullied all through school. Looking back, I wasn't bullied by very many. Just a select few who targeted me because I was a big strong kid who turned the other cheek. I could hold my own a fight, and did a few times, but not in school where people saw. After two years of being bullied by a certain guy, I accepted his invitation to fight. We set up a time and a place, and I was the only one who showed up. After that I was left alone.
Bullies will pick targets based on a few different things:
1. Unpopular kids.
2. Soft spoken kids.
3. Shy kids
3. Smaller or weaker kids.
4. Kids with a noticeable difference such as race, disability, sexual orientation, or other such flaws. (Or so they are perceived, these are NOT flaws)
The reason for these picks is because the bully has already evaluated whether or not they will win. With unpopular kids, their friends aren't going to be coming to their aid. With soft spoken or shy kids, they will not counter act their hurtful quips. Smaller or weaker kids will not be able to win a fight should they fight back. Kids with a noticeable difference are just easy to make fun of.
Oddly enough, bullies will start small to test the water on each target. Usually just with a few degrading insults to see what kind of a problem will result. Once they find an easy target then it's fun and games from there.
What is bullying?
Bullying actually comes in several different forms.
A joke here and there at someone else's expense is bullying. Name calling, and more forceful jokes are meant to single out a single person. Another form of this is anonymous bullying such as sending emails, texts, and other things anonymously.
Spreading rumors or being the subject of a nasty rumor is a form of bullying. This makes the subject of the nasty rumor live a life of pure hell. It can also excise a person from social groups because they hear that this person did this and so they are avoided.
Most bullying is not physical, but it does happen a lot. Pushing, kicking, scratching, swirlies, and anything to hold physical power over someone is physical bullying.
All bullying is nasty in form and action. So how then do we stop bullying? There are several different viewpoints on this. "Turn the other cheek" is the most popular. I've read and read how you are supposed to stop a bully. They say, don't bully back. Half of everything I read is complete crap.
Bookus's List on Stopping a Bully
1. Make friends. It's not that hard to do, and other kids have just as hard of a time making friends as you. All it takes is talking to people. Once you are in a crowd, two things will happen. The loneliness will be gone, and you are less of a target.
2. Defend yourself. If they are slinging words, sling them right back. If they are swinging fists, swing them right back. Yes, I am advocating defensive violence. There is no need to hold back either. Kick hard, swing hard. Everything you do, do it specifically to hurt your opponent, and to hurt them very badly. If you get your tail end kicked around, return with a weapon. Preferably a beat stick. Then the next time you get attacked, you have a fresh new ability to beat the living tar out of them.
If you do end up fighting. There is a rule of etiquette. Be prepared: Have a prepared statement for the fight in which you prepared for. Which should go a little something like this.
Dear Principal or Teacher,Preparing for a fight is pretty easy. You know how you are bullied, and therefore you can plan accordingly. If it is verbal, then prepare a list of insults that make them feel small.
I have been bullied, and I have told you. I am still bullied so I defended myself. The punishment I will receive is worth the freedom I just won. I am not a violent person, and I wish nobody any harm. However I do not want to be harmed either. Thank you.
If you know it is going to be a physical fight, then practice some very powerful and disabling moves. If the bully is a lot bigger than you are, feel free to use a beatstick. It should be small and heavy. About a foot long and blunt. Practice using it first. When the time comes, you'll have to launch yourself and hit as fast as you can.
However, it's a good idea NOT to hit them in the head or in the back when they are walking or running away. Despite the torture they put you through, they don't deserve to die or be paralyzed. And you don't deserve to go to prison for the sake of a jerkhead.
MOST IMPORTANT: When the bully is running away, you have won. There is no need to follow. The bully didn't get the satisfaction of overpowering you and instead got overpowered. This will most likely take you off their list of targets, and anyone else who wants to bully you as well. Verbal insults take a few times, while a physical fight will usually only take one time. Then you will be bully free.
This list only works with verbal and violent bullies. Rumors and innuendo are a little tougher. It's usually impossible to find out who started a rumor. And even if you did, would you be willing to sacrifice your honor and lie about them to other people? Further more, what if you found out that the rumor you spread in retaliation was against the wrong person.
The best way to fight against rumors and innuendo is to live your life in a way that you find morally acceptable. If you are living up to your own standards, then you are doing it right. This won't stop rumors and innuendo, but if you exude confidence, you can learn to live with rumors. Which is good, because rumors will be spread all throughout your life. It's sad, but it's true.